


I Can Talk With Flowers

by ABCece



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, Rating May Change, Weird Fluff, background showki, cutesy as all heck, everything is adorable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-09-20 14:32:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17024445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABCece/pseuds/ABCece
Summary: Neither of them expected Spring to arrive in mid-September in a quiet campus library. But Spring is excitement and anticipation. Spring is how it feels to kiss a stranger on a park bench because the way he speaks is intriguing.*******‘Hyungwon, did you know, I can talk with flowers?’ Changkyun asked, eyebrow raised, smile ready and eager to slip back onto his face.‘What are you talking about?’ Hyungwon didn’t look up. Didn’t even stop scrawling on the paper.‘I can talk with flowers,’ he repeated.‘And apparently I can talk with idiots.’





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is only going to be a short story, maybe two or three chapters.

It hadn’t been Spring when they had first met, but it had felt like it to Changkyun. That kind of Spring where the sky is blue and clear and blinding, but the air holds a bitter chill. It had felt like Spring in his chest when Hyungwon had rolled his eyes before writing his number on the corner of a discoloured piece of notepaper, when he ripped the sheet through one of the end numbers and didn’t bother to rewrite the digit. It had felt like Spring in the sharp edge of his laugh, where Changkyun couldn’t tell if he was laughing with or at him. It had felt like Spring because Hyungwon was saturated and pretty and inviting, but he stung like a cold wind against a little button nose. Changkyun was left feeling red.

It was September when they met in the campus library, both reaching for the same thesaurus on a dust-lined cherry wood shelf. Changkyun was in ramen stained black jeans and a flannel, a beanie pulled down over his unwashed hair. And the first thing he thought when his eyes slid down the wrist of the man who had taken grip of the same book spine as him, was that the guy looked like art. His angles harsh almost to the point of distortion, all of his features exaggerated and unique and unfair.

‘It’s mine,’ he had said and his eyes had to drop embarrassingly low to make contact with Changkyun’s. ‘I had it first.’

His voice was lower than Changkyun had expected it to be. Deep like coffee.

‘Have it, I’ll get another.’ He dropped his hand from the shared thesaurus.

‘Why give up so easily?’ The rich voice lilted with the question. The guy’s fingers were still gripped to the spine of the book, elbow resting on the shelf as he leaned his weight against it. His head tilted slightly and a tuft of platinum hair fell over his eye that he didn’t bother to bat away.

‘It’s a thesaurus dude, I could literally use the internet.’

‘But you wanted a hard copy. Why give it up?’ 

‘You want me to get mad at you or something?’ Changkyun asked, he raised an eyebrow and fought against a smile.

The guy plucked the book from the shelf and held it to his soft looking white jumper. He wrapped his arms around it like it was a teddy bear. ‘Not particularly.’

There was another thesaurus, Changkyun noticed, just next to the hollow left by the one grasped to the other man’s chest. He picked it up, letting the smug smile he had been fighting slide over his face as he held it out for him to see.

‘I’m unobservant.’ The guy shrugged. And then he walked away. And Changkyun was left confused like an unfinished chapter.

He followed. White Jumper definitely noticed but he didn’t turn around to look. He walked to a table in the corner of the library’s main hall, empty aside from a notepad, a book of poetry and an open flask that smelled like fruit tea. Changkyun took the seat opposite him as he placed himself among the objects. He shucked his rucksack from his shoulders as the guy dropped the thesaurus to the table with a thud and began flicking through it. His eyes never looked up to meet Changkyun’s despite the rustle of his bag hitting the floor.

‘Why do you need it?’ Changkyun asked as he pulled his laptop from his bag.

‘Need what?’ Words spoken into the pages of the book.

‘The thesaurus.’

‘I’m writing a poetry essay. Don’t know what half this stuff means so I’m looking it up.’

‘Why not a dictionary then?’ A bit back curse at an incorrectly typed password.

That’s when eyes met his. Dark and glistening and smug. ‘There’s no poetry in definitions.’ He bit the end of his pen as he waited for Changkyun to respond. When he didn’t, White Jumper asked, ‘Why do _you_ need it?’

‘I need other ways of saying “for example,”’ Changkyun said. He smiled a little. ‘“this can be shown by” and “this is highlighted by” are getting a little old.’

‘Sometimes the classics don’t wear out. I’d take a “for example” over a “this is highlighted by” any day. Too many words,’ the guy mumbled over his pen tip, top lip catching on the push button a few times.

‘Says the guy who thinks dictionaries aren’t poetic enough.’

‘They’re not.’ White Jumper straightened his back from where he had been leaning against the table and took a sip of tea.

‘My name’s Changkyun, by the way.’ His fingers hovered over laptop keys aimlessly.

A response came slowly. The guy met his eyes again and smiled at him over the rim of his flask. It was a cold smile, drew crow lines along the corner of his eyes without making them crescent. It suited him well.

‘Hi, Changkyun,’ he said. 

Silence. Then the knock of the flask against the table and the scratching of his pen in his notebook. His eyes flicked between his paper and the thesaurus that he was keeping open with a thumb and pinkie finger.

Changkyun flushed and managed to open up his word document before his attention canvassed to the other side of the table again. He coughed a little before asking, ‘What’s uh-, what’s your name?’

‘Hyungwon.’ The reply was instant and short, and Changkyun could see him smirking into the pages of his notebook despite how deeply his head was tilted into it. He noticed that there were some dark roots starting to show at the base of Hyungwon’s pretty silver hair, but he supposed that mustn’t typically be much of a problem at his height. 

‘Hyungwon, did you know, I can talk with flowers?’ Changkyun asked, eyebrow raised, smile ready and eager to slip back onto his face.

‘What are you talking about?’ Hyungwon didn’t look up. Didn’t even stop scrawling on the paper. 

‘I can talk with flowers,’ he repeated. 

‘And apparently I can talk with idiots.’

Changkyun laughed and it was a bright, obnoxious sound. It shot loud through the central hall of the library. He saw the corners of Hyungwon’s pretty full mouth tug up slightly. 

The library was an imposing building, ill-fitting on the modern, minimalistic campus. Where all the other buildings were grey and cuboid, the library stood proud and full of angles. It was built with thick, rough red blocks and the entrance was an arch of strong dark wood. Changkyun liked the library because the inside reflected this difference. Where the science labs and lecture halls were utilitarian and sterile, the library was bathed in warm light and flooded with colour from the books that lined it.    


Hyungwon’s skin looked the colour of thick treacle in the yellow light. He suited the building. It was fancy and fanciness looked fitting around him. If he was art, a portrait, then the library was an apt background. Though Changkyun thought he looked more suited to modern art; something more prone to multiple interpretations.

A silence fell, Hyungwon was focussed completely on whatever he was writing, but Changkyun couldn’t bring his attention back to his disorganised document. A combination of Hyungwon’s prettiness and general procrastination. It wasn’t subtle, the way he raked his eyes over him. Changkyun was never one for subtlety. He was fascinated by his fingers. They were long and skinny, the creases of his knuckles sitting in pretty lightning shaped clusters along each digit. His grip on the cheap black pen he was holding was so light that there was no impression of the pen’s shape in the pads of his fingers. It was an unbelievably gentle looking touch.

‘Why paper?’ Changkyun asked, and Hyungwon sat up. He was smiling again. He put his pen on top of his notepad and folded his arms.

‘You really want to distract me, huh?’

‘Yup. Why paper? Why not a, you know?’ Changkyun wiggled the screen of his laptop back and forth.

A derisive chuckle and a hand passed through his pretty hair. ‘I can’t afford a decent laptop.’

‘Campus computers?’ 

‘Would genuinely rather stand on a plug socket than touch one of those communal keyboards. I once saw some girl pick her nose and wipe it on the space bar.’

‘A good point well made.’

‘Of course.’ A pause. ’So do you always come to the library and distract strangers while they’re trying to write essays?’ Hyungwon asked. Someone passed behind him, the light reflected off the jacket of the book they were carrying and haloed around his head and Changkyun was close to laughing at how obvious the universe seemed to be pushing the message that, _yes you’re looking at someone intensely pretty._

‘I’d like to point out,’ Changkyun said, resting his chin in splayed palms, elbows knocking on the table. ‘that you spoke to me first.’

Hyungwon mirrored his posture. ‘I’d like to point out that I also walked away from you.’

‘A meaningless detail.’

‘Hardly, darling. Sometimes it doesn’t take long to realise you’ve made a mistake,’ he laughed as he spoke and it made his cheeks apple. 

Changkyun closed the lid of his laptop, giving up on the pretence of it. ‘Making a mistake implies there was something there you were interested in to start with. Did you think I was interesting, Hyungwonnie?’

His friends would have given him so much shit if they heard him, Changkyun knew it. Kihyun in particular always said he took far too much pleasure in making others feel uncomfortable. Hyungwon seemed to be taking some strange pleasure in it too though, his eyes glimmered and his eyebrow twitched, he caught the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth before replying.

‘I guess so. Can’t remember what it was.’

‘I hope you remember soon, Hyungwonnie. I’m eager to hear what interested you.’

‘Don’t call me that.’ His voice was sharp but there was still something glimmering and keen in his expression. A nice curve in the bell of his cheeks.

‘But I like it.’ Changkyun pouted as he spoke and it made Hyungwon chuckle.

‘But I don’t.’

‘Hey, Hyungwonnie, you’re super pretty.’ Shameless. He could practically feel the slap Kihyun would give him to the back of his head if he’d heard him. Shameless and proud.

‘I model sometimes, darling. I know I’m super pretty.’ He paused to flick the loose bit of hair that liked to fall over his eye away from his face with a long, pale finger. ‘But thank you. Don’t call me “Hyungwonnie.”’

‘You hear it a lot then?’ 

‘That I’m pretty? Yeah.’ There was something sour in his expression, a curdle to the typical twist of his mouth. 

‘You don’t sound happy about it. Shall I compliment you on something else? Your voice is nice too, Hyungwonnie. And I like your take on dictionaries.’ Changkyun leaned back in his seat and folded his arms across his chest. The gesture made his biceps look bigger, pushing the small muscles forward against his discoloured green flannel. It was uncomfortable, there was a button pressing against the soft skin at the juncture of his elbow, but he wanted to look good. Wanted Hyungwon to look at him with the same appraising expression Changkyun had been wearing since they had sat down together. He could hear his heartbeat flood through his ears when Hyungwon’s eyes dropped down to the swell of his arms.

‘You could compliment me on those things, yeah. I wouldn’t complain, Kyunnie.’ His top lip was folding in an effort not to smile. He tapped a finger to the pointed corner of his mouth as he spoke and Changkyun noticed that the nail had been painted a subtle iridescent pink. The colour of a cat’s tongue or an orchid. The twitch in his lips faded when he saw Changkyun smiling right back at him.

‘Cute, Hyungwonnie.’

‘You’re trying to tell me you really don’t mind me calling you “Kyunnie”?’

‘You can call me whatever you want so long as you carry on talking to me.’

‘Shithead?’

‘Fine by me.’

‘You’re a strange guy, Shithead.’ A girl who had paused to look at a book titled _An Entire History of Richard III_ that had been sitting on a shelf next to their table whipped her head to him and frowned. He shrugged at her and said, ‘I call it like I see it.’

‘This is a library, try keeping your cussing to a minimum,’ she said.

‘Yeah Hyungwonnie, that shit is inappropriate,’ Changkyun said and watched as Hyungwon choked on a bubble of laughter. The girl made a noise of distaste and stalked away from their table. ‘This place sucks, can we go somewhere else?’

‘Why would I go anywhere with you?’ Hyungwon asked.

‘Because I’m interesting and will compliment you on command?’

‘Hmm, you’re right. I still have to write this essay though, and you have whatever it was you’ve been pretending to do this whole time. So don’t keep me too long. Have me home by nine.’

‘I’ve been pretending to write an essay too, I’ll have you know. Other ways of saying “for example,” remember?’ Changkyun slipped his laptop into his rucksack and brought out his scratched phone. He shot a speedy and mistyped text to his roommate that said, _Won’t be hime for luncc, sorry Heon._

‘Of course, how could I forget.’ Hyungwon unhooked a satchel from the back of his chair and packed his stuff into it. ‘Where are you going to take me?’

‘Where do you want to go?’

‘I asked first.’

‘You’re enjoying making this difficult for me.’ Changkyun said as his phone vibrated in his hand. He looked at the text Jooheon had sent back. _Do I need to get out bail money, what have you done?_

‘Of course.’ Hyungwon’s Adam’s apple bobbed behind his satin white choker as he spoke.He stood up and walked to Changkyun’s side of the table, leaning against the back of his chair and reading his texts over his shoulder.

Changkyun shot a reply back to Jooheon that said, _Not this time. Talk later,_ and shoved his phone back in his pocket. He startled when Hyungwon prodded him on the shoulder.

‘Was that your boyfriend?’ he asked. Changkyun had to crane his head to look at him, neck twisting into awkward rolls in an attempt to meet his eyes. From his limited view it looked like Hyungwon was staring straight ahead, cheeks slightly rosy.

‘No, best friend. My very own personal shithead.’

‘Oh. Are you straight? Have I been reading this wrong, darling?’ He still sounded uncaring but Changkyun heard the creak in the old wooden chair where Hyungwon’s grip on it tightened.

He stood up and pulled his rucksack on, resting his own hand close to Hyungwon’s on the back of the vacant chair. He brushed a finger over the edge of his white jumper and it was as soft as Changkyun had suspected it to be. It reminded him of dandelion puffs.

‘Does it matter?’ he said to their closely placed hands. He heard Hyungwon sigh and his long fingers retreated into his sleeve a bit. ‘I’m not, but does it matter? I like who I like, couldn’t give a shit what parts they’re working with.’

‘Okay,’ Hyungwon said, and his fingers peaked out of his sleeve again, he grazed a pink nail along the side of Changkyun’s tanned hand. ‘Okay, I like that.’

 

Changkyun didn’t know where to take Hyungwon after they had checked out their respective thesauruses. When they left the library, arm brushing against arm, Changkyun had turned left. Left towards the dorms and the bar that wouldn’t be open for another three hours and not much else. Hyungwon had followed without question, the tip of his nose a sweet, rosy pink from the bite in the air. Changkyun lost a moment of thought drowning in how high his eyes had to travel to meet that pretty pink. All of Hyungwon’s proportions were long and slim, the delicate slope of his nose no exception. The campus grounds were busy with half-awake students stumbling about in the high midday sun but Changkyun was so tuned on to Hyungwon that he barely noticed them. Hyungwon was the only one apart from himself without a coat for a start, the brilliant white of his soft jumper an epicentre designed to catch his gaze.

_'_ Where are you taking me?’ Hyungwon asked again when he saw the path they were walking.

‘I have absolutely no idea.’ 

There was a brush of fingers. Hyungwon caught the end of his flannel and pulled him to a stop. ‘If this is just some weird thing where you lead me to your flat I don’t want it, darling. You’re cute but I’m not someone you can just drag home for a quickie.’

Changkyun’s eyes startled wide, his small mouth opened a little in shock and eyebrows stretched to reach his dark hairline. He looked flustered and innocent, nothing more than a puppy. He wrapped his hand around the fingers still clinging to his sleeve and shook their entwined hands loosely back and forth before dropping his arm back to his side. 

‘That’s not what I was doing!’ he spluttered. ‘Really.’

Relief broke across Hyungwon’s face and relief was an undignified snort. It made his nose wrinkle and his front teeth show, though he quickly covered them with a pawed hand. His eyes hidden by pretty, happy cheeks.

‘You know, I really thought you might have been. But this,’ he waved in Changkyun’s direction. ‘You’re so innocent, it’s adorable.’

‘Okay but like, going back.’ Changkyun’s face was red and he fluttered between a few sentences before settling on, ‘Did you say I’m cute?’

‘Oh my God shut up.’ Long fingers wrapped around flannel again. ‘Lets go sit in a park or something.’

It was surprisingly comfortable, walking quietly, fingers linked with a relative stranger. Hyungwon’s skin felt smooth and powdered and he smelled like spices, the nice perfume of cloves sitting deep in Changkyun’s throat. He always liked earthy smells.

It was nice to feel small. Changkyun couldn’t explain it but he was enthralled by the difference between their hip placements. The protrusion of Hyungwon’s lined up nicely with the subtle dip of Changkyun’s waist. He was so used to trying to feel big and masculine and butch. There was something fascinating in knowing he was small, that his masculine features didn’t mean he was required to look powerful. 

Hyungwon didn’t speak much, he sighed or laughed or lightly pushed, but it didn’t take long for Changkyun to learn that Hyungwon wasn’t particularly vocal. The walk to the park was short and almost completely filled by comfortable silence. Perhaps a sigh or a soft huff of laughter when Changkyun broke the quiet with something particularly stupid. It was nice. Felt established. When Changkyun tripped on a raised cobble in the dusty grey path, Hyungwon’s grip on his hand tightened and pulled him upright again. His laugh was undignified as he swatted at the lint crusted into Changkyun’s palms and let his fingers linger in the spread of his lifeline. When Changkyun pointed at a scraggly looking crow perched on an electric line and squawked at it like they were kindred spirits, Hyungwon hit him on the arm, smiling, before looping their fingers back together and laughing loud enough to scare the poor bird away.

‘I’ve never done anything like this before,’ Hyungwon said when they sat down on a worn wooden bench in the campus gardens.

‘Anything like what?’ His hand felt weird when it was fully his own again. Fresh air felt cold on his palm.

‘This whole thing. It’s weird.’

‘Good weird?’ Changkyun asked.

‘Yeah, good I guess, darling. It’s strange though, don’t you think?’

‘I guess. I think you’re weird though, Hyungwonnie. I like you.’

Hyungwon laughed, the breathy sort with no real depth behind it. ‘What’s strange about me?’

‘I don’t know.’ Changkyun watched Hyungwon’s leg shift slightly away from his on the slats. ‘It’s all good though.’

‘Is it because I’m pretty?’ he asked and his voice was so cynical. The words thudded, landed heavy in his lap.

‘You really don’t like “pretty,” do you?’

‘I don’t like pretty because pretty sounds like feminine and honestly, darling, that pisses me right off. I’m a man. I’m a man who likes men but I’m a man. Me wearing eyeshadow doesn’t change that even if half of the world and most of this campus seems to think it does.’ He paused, Changkyun saw the muscles of his thin legs twinge. ‘What is it that you expect of me?’

‘I don’t expect anything of you. I don’t understand.’ Changkyun’s voice was small. His fingers went to stretch for Hyungwon’s before backing away and curling into his palm on the wood again.

‘I don’t either, darling.’ Quiet. 

‘I’m sorry. Weird is good, to me at least. I meant good.’ Changkyun said to the rough patch of grass at his feet, suddenly captivated by the tall brown weed grazing against the toe of his sneaker with each breath of wind.

‘I know you did. That’s probably why it’s easy to rant at you. Sorry.’

‘I really did mean good. You’re weird as all hell, Hyungwonnie.’ He turned to face him so their knees pressed, coarse black denim against soft blue denim. He smiled. ‘I don’t think you’re weird for nail varnish or makeup or whatever though. I’ve got a face covered in foundation now anyway, and look.’ He held out his pinkie finger that still had a stripe of unremoved, chipped black polish across it. ‘Who am I to judge? You’re weird in all the good ways. Maybe weird isn’t the right word.’

‘Then find the right one.’

‘I don’t know.’ He traced a pattern on Hyungwon’s leg, so carefully he wasn’t sure if he would even be able to feel it. Hyungwon smiled at the line of discolour scratched the wrong way into the fabric of his jeans and Changkyun continued, ‘Interesting, maybe? Would it be too cringey to call you beautiful?’

‘Wow definitely, Jesus.’ Hyungwon replied, but it was through a deep laugh, his hand falling on top of Changkyun’s and holding it to his knee. ‘Tell me about you. Should I compliment you now? The ratio of compliments is so tilted.’

‘Hah, sorry. Yeah go ahead, Hyungwonnie. Compliment me.’ Changkyun’s cocksure smile slipped back onto his face. He pulled his beanie further down his head, so the tips of his ears folded over into cute little half moons.

‘Well, you’re very confident. You followed me, that was adorable. I like your shirt, it looks comfy. You’ve had some crumbs in the corner of your mouth just there this whole time,’ he pointed. ‘but it looks kind of cute.'

Changkyun wiped the crumbs from his mouth and they fell onto his black denim. ‘You keep going with cute, Hyungwonnie. What about “sexy” or “irresistible” or “hot?”’ He wiggled his eyebrows, and raised his gaze. Any uncomfortableness lost in the desire to watch that pretty pink flood Hyungwon’s cheeks again.

‘Oh please. You’re a puppy, Changkyun.’

‘Even puppies growl sometimes.’

‘I guess you’re right. You’ll have to growl for me one day.’ And this time it was Hyungwon who leaned in closer. Hyungwon who pressed his side against Changkyun’s and linked their fingers. It was Hyungwon who’s words fluttered over the soft nape of Changkyun’s neck when he leaned his head down to rest on his shoulder. And Changkyun’s breath hitched at how warm and wet his words felt on naked skin.

Changkyun let a quiet howl whistle through his teeth and he felt the vibrations of Hyungwon’s laugh in his shoulder.

‘By the way, I like you as well, Changkyun. Even if this is weird and quick and I know nothing about you.’

A quiet followed. Silence was nice with Hyungwon. Silence smelled like blooming flowers and tasted floral on Changkyun’s tongue. 

‘What’s your favourite colour?’ he asked.

‘Guess.’ Hyungwon’s words were muffled through the fabric of Changkyun’s flannel.

‘Yellow.’

‘No. But thank you,’ he said.

‘For what?’

‘For not saying pink, darling.’

‘Oh.’

‘My favourite colour is blue,’ Hyungwon said quietly. Almost hesitant. ‘What’s yours?’

‘White.’ He was conscious of the feel of Hyungwon’s eyelashes tickling against his collar. ‘What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast?’

Hyungwon laughed, ‘Of course you’d ask that. Random. Does a pint of milk tea at midday count?’

‘Absolutely not.’ Changkyun stole a breath before leaning an arm around Hyungwon’s shoulders, to fiddle with a twist of his pale hair between warm fingers. ‘My favourite breakfast is scrambled eggs.’

‘What’s the name of your best friend?’ Hyungwon asked.

‘Jooheon. But that’s mainly only because I’ve known him longest. All of my friends are great. What’s the name of yours?’

‘I have two,’ he said, his breath starting to seep hot through Changkyun’s shirt. ‘Wonho and Minhyuk.’

‘What are Wonho and Minhyuk like?’ Changkyun squeezed Hyungwon’s arm a little and there was a stifled gasp against his shoulder.

‘They’re like me, I guess. Wonho is soft as a bunny. Minhyuk is chaotic but it works for him. I think the world might revolve around Minhyuk, if I’m honest. If he batted his eyes enough the sun would have no choice to stay up all day and night.’

‘That’s like Jooheon,’ Changkyun mumbled, more to himself than to progress the conversation. But Hyungwon raised his head enough to meet his eyes, brows knitted in question before dropping his head back down on his shoulder. ‘Jooheon has dimples deep enough to eat cereal out of. When he smiles it’s like looking at a puppy. It’s stupid.’

‘God cute people are annoying.’

‘You’ve called me cute more than once today, Hyungwonnie.’

‘Are you trying to deny being annoying?’

Changkyun laughed and didn’t bother to respond. He rubbed a thumb up and down Hyungwon’s arm and it felt nice. His jumper was so soft. Hyungwon’s head lifted after a while and his cheek was cute and puffy from where it had been resting. He stretched his long arms over his head, back arching, and his body clicked. Their legs were still touching hip to knee, Hyungwon’s ankle hooked under Changkyun’s on the ground below.

‘I still don’t really know you,’ he said over the sound of a girl screeching with laughter on the neighbouring bench.

‘Don’t you think knowing people is overrated? We can get to it later, if you want. I like this,’ Changkyun replied.

‘Knowing people _is_ overrated, darling. But I’m not used to stuff like this. I want to kiss you and I don’t even know what course you’re studying.’

‘I’m studying Engineering and I’d let you kiss me.’

‘I’m studying English Lit.’

‘I said I’d let you kiss me.’

‘I know you did.’ Hyungwon shifted to look Changkyun in the eyes. Just the touch of knees again. He pulled Changkyun’s hands onto the bend of his knees and linked their fingers. ‘This is just so stupid,’ he breathed, eyes darting all over Changkyun’s face.

‘I’m all about stupid,’ Changkyun said through a smile, his gaze shamelessly fixed on the swell of Hyungwon’s lips. He shifted forward, so his knee parted Hyungwon’s legs and tightened his grip on the fingers between his. 

‘Stay still,’ Hyungwon muttered, his mouth barely moving with the words.

‘Okay.’

Hyungwon pushed forward some more, until his knees pressed into the hard flesh of Changkyun’s thighs. The feeling of denim catching against denim as he slid closer tingled along Changkyun’s legs, like they were two halves of a zip being pulled together. He could hear Hyungwon’s breathing, slow and aware, in front of his face. His breath was warm, felt too hot when it hit the tip of his cold nose.

‘God this is so stupid,’ Hyungwon mumbled again. Their noses brushed and Changkyun felt his gasp, felt the breath being taken from his slightly parted lips. Hyungwon pouted and there was a subtle press, soft and full against him.

It was barely a kiss but it was something. Changkyun’s lips didn’t move. He breathed through his mouth and the condensation of it caught on Hyungwon’s berry lip balm. Hyungwon’s lips barely skimmed between the parted hollow of Changkyun’s before he pulled back but his cheeks looked red and his breathing was deep. Changkyun could feel his own heartbeat pumping heavy in his throat and fingers and thighs.

‘That doesn’t count,’ Changkyun said. His voice was small and giggly. Hyungwon smacked his thigh.

‘You do it then,’ he said.

‘You want me to kiss you?’

‘Not necessarily. But if you’re going to be an ass about it you might as well show me how to do it properly.’

Changkyun began to push forward before Hyungwon had even finished his sentence, wedging their legs tightly together. He brought one hand to the base of Hyungwon’s neck but applied no pressure. He laughed a little at the tickle of Hyungwon’s baby hairs falling over his fingers.

He was slow when he brought their mouths together though, and his hand synchronised with the motion, dragging up Hyungwon’s leg as they drew near before coming to a rest on his hip when their lips finally touched. He kissed like Hyungwon was made of porcelain, like his skin was as thin as taffeta. The press of his lips was so soft that it tickled and Hyungwon had to push forward to make their connection more secure. Changkyun’s hand twinged where it rested in the hollow between his neck and shoulder. He lingered on Hyungwon’s full bottom lip, and the cushion of it felt good and soft between his own.

Hyungwon _tasted_ like Spring, his pink chapstick rubbing off and leaving the sweetness of berries on Changkyun’s mouth. When Changkyun pulled back he smiled before licking the flavour from his lips. His sharp looking canines glistened as he did.

‘It’s cold,’ he said and let out a strong breath to demonstrate how it lingered in billows in the air. His lips were the colour of petals thanks to Hyungwon’s tinted chapstick. They looked plush when he pouted them.

Hyungwon leaned forward and kissed him again, pressing harder, and Changkyun smiled against him. There was a hand grazing in the fold between his hip and thigh that was making the muscles of his stomach twitch and he tugged on the platinum hair wrapped around his fingers. He opened the seam of his mouth and caught Hyungwon’s top lip, sucking slightly before letting the skin go again, and Hyungwon gasped in response, his fingers tensing and catching on his belt loops. Changkyun manoeuvred his head, pressed against his neck until he tilted and their noses clashed. He dipped his tongue into Hyungwon’s mouth when Hyungwon giggled at the collision. 

It felt natural to cup Hyungwon’s cheeks. They were so warm and Hyungwon leaned into the touch. He pulled Changkyun forward by his belt loops until his legs had to dangle over Hyungwon’s to get any closer. Changkyun’s hands were exploring his face and hair and neck while Hyungwon gripped his hips, lips continuing to catch Changkyun’s every time they tried to dip to his jaw. Hyungwon was taking messy, heavy breaths through his nose that fanned over Changkyun’s face and made the loose bits of hair peaking out from his beanie flutter against his cheeks. It tickled and he laughed, his lips stretching tight with the smile, and Hyungwon was so close that he could hear the sound of his saliva breaking over his teeth.

‘That tickled,’ Changkyun said against him, voice jittery as he rested their foreheads together for a second, before leaning back on his hands.

Hyungwon’s hair was fluffy on one side from where Changkyun’s hand had been raking through it, and there was a shiny pink smear across the skin under his nose from his chapstick. He rubbed his hand over his mouth before replying, ‘I wasn’t ready to stop yet, darling.’

‘I told you stupid could be good sometimes.’

Hyungwon laughed, his gaze seated on their tangled legs, his chest was visibly rising and falling in an effort to steady his breathing. He prodded a finger to Changkyun’s knee.

‘I really do need to write that essay you know. It’s due on Friday. Five thousand words and I only have like seven hundred and fifty.’

Changkyun snorted. ‘How do you even keep track of words if you’re not writing on a laptop?’

Hyungwon looked sheepish, he ran a hand through his hair and dragged his eyes skyward, his mouth trembling with a giggle.

‘Oh god you don’t?’

‘Darling, please don’t make me admit it,’ he said.

‘Hyungwonnie.’ Eager hands slapped down on knees, rubbing at the fabric. ‘Do you count out every word as you write it?’

An aborted laugh choked from Hyungwon’s throat before he caught it again. He met Changkyun’s and muttered, ‘I keep a tally.’

‘A tally!’ Changkyun shrieked, startling a few people around them. ‘That’s no good. You can use my laptop if you want?’

‘You don’t even know me.’

‘But I’m getting to know you. And you using my laptop is a good excuse to see you again. Do you want to, um, use my laptop sometime?’ His fingers twitched on Hyungwon’s knees.

‘If you want me to use it, then yeah. I think that sounds okay.’

Changkyun smiled wide and the sun caught on the saliva glistening on his teeth. 

‘Can I have your number? So we can arrange when you want to use it?’

And yeah, Hyungwon rolled his eyes, but he was smiling and warm. Face flushed and gaze avoiding Changkyun. He pulled the same pad he had been writing in at the library from his satchel and wrote the number small on the corner of the first page. His handwriting was delicate and the digits were only faint on the paper. When he tore the number from the book and handed it over he moved his fingers deliberately to touch against Changkyun’s and smiled at the contact.

‘I’m free most mornings,’ he said. 

‘I’m asleep most mornings,’ Changkyun replied. ‘But I’ll wake up for you.’

 

 

It was funny how when they parted Changkyun swore he could still smell cloves, swore he could still taste sweet lip balm. His rucksack thudded heavy against his back with each step he took back to his shared flat. The corner of his laptop kept hitting the sensitive skin of his ribs but he didn’t really mind. Barely noticed. Because it wasn’t Spring but it felt like it, and Changkyun was intrigued by the idea of new blooms.

When he got back to the flat, he went straight to his room. He dropped his bag down on his unmade, single bed and pulled his phone from his pocket.

_Create New Contact?_

**_Yes_ ** _No_

 

_Contact Name?_

**_Hyungwonnie :*_ **

 

_New Message_

_To: Hyungwonnie :*_

_Hi…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! I hope it was worth the wait.

‘So what you’re saying,’ Jooheon mumbled through a mouthful of instant noodles. ‘Is that you met a guy who was- what did you call him again?’

‘He was art, Heon,’ Changkyun said. His voice distorted through the fabric of his jumper. His head was resting in his arms on their creaky table and he spoke into the crook of his elbow.

‘So you met a guy who was art and… made out with him… in the library?’

Changkyun groaned loudly into the table. ‘You’re getting it wrong on purpose. And we didn’t “make out,” that sounds tacky.’

It had been two days since the park. Two days since Spring and platinum hair and the smell of cloves. Changkyun hadn’t been able to focus since because how was he supposed to entertain the dull lectures of his engineering professors when he could remember the sweet berry taste of Hyungwon’s lips. How could he focus on Kihyun talking about whatever had wound him up this time when he could still remember the feel of Hyungwon’s fingers in the bend of his knees, pulling him forward to kiss him. 

‘Since when did you care about sounding tacky? That’s literally half of your appeal, Idiot.’ Jooheon swatted at the top of his head and Changkyun reluctantly raised himself from the counter.

‘I don’t care,’ Changkyun said, but his bottom lip was fat and pouting.

‘So what happened next?’

‘What do you mean?’

Jooheon took another slurp of ramen, the long noodles still dangling from his mouth as he said, ‘So you made out with this guy. Then what? You’ve been a sulky mess for days so I’m guessing it’s not good news.’ Broth splattered over the table as he spoke and Changkyun wiped it up with his sleeve, leaving new discoloured marks on his already galaxied black sweater.

‘I mean, he gave me his number.’ Words said into the broth-damp sleeve.

‘Did you message him?’

‘Of fucking course I did, Heon.’

‘Okay, damn.’

‘I messaged him but he didn’t. Ugh. He didn’t respond. I don’t know why.’

The look on Jooheon’s face was plastic and straight out of a dumb rom-com. Amusement and stifled laughter had dimpled his cheeks, squinted his eyes and flecked his face a cute pink. There was a dribble of soup running down his chin. ‘You’re that bad?’ He asked.

‘Shut up, you’re the actual worst.’ Changkyun dropped his head to the table again. The sound was heavy.

‘What did you text him, dude?’

‘I just… Ugh I don’t know I just said “hi.” Just an ordinary greeting.’ Stagnant silence followed by a heavy breath before Changkyun continued, ‘Ordinary doesn’t appeal to him, I don’t think.’

‘And he definitely read it?’

‘I would assume so.’

‘Show me.’

‘Heon, please.’

‘Shut up, dude. Give me your phone.’

Changkyun brought the phone from his pocket, groaning the whole time and head still planted against the table. When Jooheon grabbed it, he squeezed his hand. An unspoken communication but Changkyun was thankful for it.

He heard the tapping of Jooheon’s fingers on his phone screen and dug his head further into his elbow. His jumper smelled like food and deodorant and ink. He opened his eyes against the fabric and his eyelashes caught, making his eyes stop at an awkward squint, light filtering strangely into his vision through the dense black knit of his jumper.

‘Can I message him?’ Jooheon asked.

‘What? No, of course you can’t.’

‘I already drafted though. All I have to do is press send and I’m so tempted.’

Head lifted from the table again. The coffee machine was beeping in the kitchenette. Changkyun said, ’I really liked him. I don’t know. I don’t want to mess things up anymore. I’ve already been ghosted.’

‘And I’m trying to unghost you, come on trust me. Let me press send?’ Jooheon’s dimples pocked his cheeks, lips small and pouting and Changkyun had always struggled to say no to him when he started acting cute.

‘What have you, ugh, what have you said, Heon?’

‘Nah uh. Trust me? Just let me press it. I’m like forty percent sure it will work.’

‘Fine. Fine I trust you and your forty percent. Press send.’

Jooheon slapped a satisfied hand on the table when he hit the button. The whooshing sound of the message leaving his phone swirled round Changkyun’s head. His phone was chucked back to him, clattering in the space between his arms as Jooheon left to pour himself a coffee in the kitchen.

He unlocked the phone. His background was a picture of him, Jooheon, Kihyun and Shownu out at a bar. It was a terrible picture really, it was too dark to take an ordinary picture so he’d used the flash and it made everything look grainy, the light of the flash bouncing unappealingly off the sweat on their faces from the stuffy club. But the picture was special to Changkyun. There were things in it he liked. He liked that Jooheon wasn’t looking at the phone screen but at him, grinning at his cheeks as Changkyun smiled wide and toothy, he liked the small smile on Shownu’s face and the way that, if you looked really closely, you could see his hand was linked with Kihyun’s behind a barrier of glasses on the table. They thought nobody knew. He liked the picture because it encompassed his friendship group; kind of low quality and chaotic, but also a light where it would otherwise be too dark for Changkyun to manage on his own.

The text Jooheon had sent said, _I was never that interested anyway._

Changkyun felt something drop in his stomach. Bounce off the lining.

‘Jooheon!’ He called, standing up and following him into the kitchenette. 

‘Oh, you read it?’ He had a satisfied smile on his face, all long and twisting, one eyebrow raised higher than the other.

‘Why would you say that to him?’ His voice sounded panicked even to himself.

‘It will get a rise out of him. It’s an internet thing. Say enough stupid shit and people will get mad enough to reply to you.’ He took a sip of coffee.

‘But I want him to like me!’

‘Yeah, he might not after that.’ Another sip.

‘I know! For God’s sake.’ Changkyun walked away. Went to his room. The light was already on inside but he turned it off as he entered. He rummaged in his cupboard for the first jacket he could find. Slipped on the first pair of shoes he found stuffed down the far side of his bed, and pulled his rucksack on.

‘I’m going out,’ he said as he walked back through the main room where Jooheon was still drinking coffee. He’d moved to sit on the kitchen counter and scroll through his phone. He looked irritatingly calm.

‘Okay, dude. See you’re pissed at me now but I know you’re not going to be.’

‘If you say so.’ Changkyun said before closing the door.

 

 

It was cold with a bright sky. Deceptively like Spring. There were no blossoms on the trees, no pollen in the air. Instead, piles of dead leaves fluttered down the paths and collected in the drains, the air smelled like coffee. 

Changkyun didn’t know where he was going. It was habitual to do this. To be aimless on this labyrinth of a campus. He couldn’t stop staring at the text thread for Hyungwon on his phone, both messages blue, a little tick next to them. Delivered. His fingers tapped and deleted and tapped and deleted until they tapped and sent and it was like vomit. Ugly and quick and unstoppable once he started.

_Changkyun 11:03am_

_That wasn’t me_

 

_Changkyun 11:03am_

_I didn’t send that._

 

_Changkyun 11:04am_

_It was my roommate I told you about_

 

_Changkyun 11:04am_

_You probably don’t remember. sorry_

 

_Changkyun 11:04am_

_i’ll leave you alone now._

 

_Changkyun 11:04am_

_you probs didn’t want to hear from me_

 

_Changkyun 11:04am_

_Okay sorry bye_

 

He fired the messages one after the other. The cold was making his nose run and his fingers stiff. He didn’t look up from his phone as he walked, too transfixed by the descending scale of blue ticks as each message got delivered and it was taunting how ugly that all blue message thread looked. He’d never longed for grey so badly before.

It felt typical, when he finally dragged his gaze away from his phone, to realise he’d walked to the library again. He didn’t go in. Didn’t need to today. The thesaurus he’d checked out was still sitting open and broken-spined on his desk at the flat. Instead, he dropped his rucksack on the third step that lead up to the front of the stupidly grand building and sat down. The stone was cold to the point of feeling wet through his cigarette leg trousers but he didn’t move. There weren’t so many people about today. The courtyard echoed with footsteps but they were distant and faint rather than their typical marching. Changkyun wondered why. It was midday midweek, people should have been running for classes and meetings and coffee dates.

His phone felt heavy in his pocket. The albatross around his neck in the form of its constant, pressing weight. Changkyun knew that if he got a message it would buzz. He would feel it through the thin cotton of his trousers. He _knew_ and yet his fingers still itched to check. Itched on the hair’s thread ‘what if’ that maybe he just hadn’t felt it vibrate.

And God the sky was bright. So bright he had to squint wherever he looked. The stones of the paths were blinding, so the mindless drumming of occasional feet seemed even more surreal, as though it was cresting from an unknown, omnipotent source. And his phone felt so _heavy_.

When Changkyun was younger, in his teens, he used to say he was asexual. At the time, he hadn’t thought it was a lie. He’d never felt it, that indescribable thing that pulled people together. Had never experienced unquenchable want. Then, one day he met a girl and it was like he got all of it at once. He wanted so much he couldn’t think. He wanted so much that when he slept he swore he could smell her perfume on his pillow. He wanted and it felt so good to want like that. But it faded as quickly as it arrived. And one day he didn’t want her anymore. That’s how it had always been. An intense, consuming need and then nothing.

Changkyun didn’t want Hyungwon to just be another passing whim; Hyungwon had let him taste berries and smell cloves and feel the cold of Spring in September. Maybe it wasn’t different this time and he’d forget in a week or two, but it didn’t feel that way in the heat of it all. The heaviness of his phone felt like a constant he’d never be able to shake and he’d never hated something more than he hated it in that moment.

A hand flopped on his shoulder. 

‘Hey bucko, why the glum face?’

It was Kihyun. Because of course it was Kihyun. He sat down next to Changkyun without hesitation and dropped his head on his shoulder. 

‘Why the glum face?’ he asked again.

‘Nothing. Everything. The usual. Were you just in the library?’

Kihyun snorted a little before replying. ‘God I forget how dramatic you are. Is this about the long boy? The library one? He’s not in there if that was going to be your next question.’

‘How would you know? And, wait how do you know about him anyway? I only told Heon.’

‘Heon told Shownu and Shownu told me.’ Kihyun lifted his head off Changkyun’s shoulder and shrugged. ‘And I know he wasn’t in there because the place was empty as sin. There were like two people in there and neither of them were tall pretty boys.’

‘Not pretty,’ Changkyun mumbled and Kihyun’s eyes danced with amusement.

‘Excuse me?’ he said.

‘He didn’t like the word pretty… is all…’

‘Whipped _and_ rejected wow.’

‘Ki…’ Changkyun started in warning, but Kihyun was already flopping his head back on Changkyun’s shoulder, a hand wrapping around his back and digging into his side.

‘I know. I was joking, kid. But you know, you’re a catch too. You shouldn’t be the one doing all the work here.’

‘Uh-huh.’ The cynicism in his own voice made him flinch and he had to raise his eyes to the blindingly bright sky to stop the unwanted film of frustrated tears from spilling onto his cheeks.

‘Hey. Hey what’s happening here why are you crying?’

‘I’m not crying,’ Changkyun said, but his voice wobbled as he spoke.

‘You’re a literal baby boy.’

‘Am not.’

‘Are too, baby boy.’

And that’s when Changkyun’s phone buzzed. Unceremonious, ill-timed and out of the blue. Changkyun felt the vibration like he knew he would and his hand was in his pocket fishing his phone out before he even had a moment to register.

_Hyungwonnie :* 11:11am_

_Cute_

 

_Hyungwonnie :* 11:11am_

_Can I use your laptop today?_

 

‘Oh shit, would you look at that,’ Kihyun said, reading the messages from where he was leant on Changkyun’s shoulder.

 

_Changkyun 11:12am_

_Omg omg yeah of course duh yeah omg_

 

‘Way to play it cool, Changkyunnie.’

‘Shut up, Ki.’

 

_Hyungwonnie :* 11:12am_

_Wow this is adorable. Are you free now? You could come over?_

 

_Changkyun 11:12am_

_jgrispdkv yeah I’m free. Im so free I’m so so free. Send me your address?_

 

‘Seriously?’

‘I said shut up.’

 

_Hyungwonnie :* 11:12am_

_God I forgot you were cute. Here._

**_Location Pinned._**

_Don’t forget your laptop._

 

Changkyun wouldn’t hesitate to admit that he abandoned Kihyun. He had stood, looping his arms through the worn straps of his backpack, before Hyungwon had even sent his address. Kihyun’s head had jolted sharply when Changkyun’s shoulder was lifted from under him and he looked pissed but Changkyun barely registered. He threw a short apology over his shoulder as he walked away, practically running back to his flat to pick up his laptop.

His phone said it would take ten minutes to get to Hyungwon’s flat but he got there in six, out of breath and ruffled as he shucked his fist with too much force against the rickety door. He ran the pad of his finger over the front of his teeth and wondered if he should have brushed them again before he left his flat. 

It wasn’t Hyungwon who opened the door though. It was a lithe, happy-looking, golden haired boy with a wide smile. He squealed when he saw Changkyun and the sound was piercing.

‘Oh my god he’s so cute,’ he called behind him and made to grab for Changkyun before stopping himself to ask, ‘You are Changkyun, yeah?’

When Changkyun nodded, mouth moving with unasked questions, the golden boy squealed again and grabbed both of his arms. He dragged him into the flat like he was a rescue puppy, all cooing and soft, his hands stroking Changkyun’s arms and tickling over his fingers.

‘Wow so you like Hyungwon, huh?’ he said, and Changkyun snorted despite himself.

‘Yeah, pretty much,’ he said.

The layout of this flat was similar to his own, with an open kitchen/lounge area and a corridor leading to the bedrooms and bathroom. But it was a lot brighter in here than in his home. The place was messier, more obviously lived in, with open pizza boxes and beer bottles left undisposed of and in a pile in the corner of the kitchen, but the amount of light seeping through the half closed lacy curtains made the space feel like a show room. New and shiny where his place was crusted in a thin layer of discolour.

Hyungwon was sitting at a small table, looking at him with his head in his hands. He had that cold, cynical kind of smile on his face again and Changkyun raised an eyebrow at him and bit the end of his tongue. He was surrounded by papers and books and there was an uneaten, mushy looking bowl of cereal by him. The thesaurus he’d checked out of the library was closed and half-hidden under crumpled papers.

‘That’s Minhyuk,’ is all he said. But it made Minhyuk’s smile brim even wider than it already was. 

‘Yeah, that’s me. I’m the one who convinced him to ask you over. You’re welcome, Kyun-kyunnie.’ Minhyuk jiggled Changkyun’s arm as he spoke.

‘Kyun-kyunnie,’ Hyungwon repeated in a monotone, but his eyes were like molten glass as he held Changkyun’s gaze.

‘What of it?’ Changkyun said at the same time that Minhyuk cried out, ‘What? It’s cute!’

Minhyuk frowned at Hyungwon and jostled Changkyun to take a seat at the table.

‘He’s acting all cool or whatever it is he’s trying to do now but he was gushing about you yesterday,’ he stage whispered to Changkyun and Changkyun laughed at the way the molten glass in Hyungwon’s eyes immediately solidified to irritation.

‘Why are you here again?’ he asked Minhyuk, his gaze fixed on the hand lingering on Changkyun’s shoulder.

‘My own amusement,’ Minhyuk replied lightly, biting on a fingernail.

Changkyun liked him. He was weird. Hyungwon looked ready to throw something at him though and it was making Changkyun laugh. He pulled the sleeve of his jumper up over his fist and hid his mouth behind it. 

‘You’re all bark no bite,’ he said into the knit, eyes crinkled from smiling and locked onto Hyungwon’s. They glistened on contact with Changkyun’s.

‘A little bite, darling,’ Hyungwon said.

It was interesting how such a simple word made the entire mood of the room change. There was that cold, playfulness in Hyungwon’s eyes again, as though he was wanting Changkyun to break and look embarrassed, but not expecting it. Minhyuk was laughing hard, the force of it making his fingers twitch their grip on Changkyun’s shoulder, but Changkyun’s focus had shifted completely. The frilled sunlight, distorted through those nice, lacy curtains, was hitting the side of Hyungwon’s face and he was camouflaged in the brightness of it all. It made Changkyun have to squint to keep eye contact.

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ Hyungwon asked, but the corners of his mouth were straining with the effort not to pull up into a smile. He dropped his eyes to the papers in front of him and picked up his pen.

‘Like what?’ Changkyun asked. He pulled his laptop out and pushed some papers to make room for it on the clutter of the table. It almost knocked the cereal mush off the table. Would have spilled milk and wheaty paste all over the cheap lino floor if Minhyuk hadn’t shrieked for Hyungwon to stop it from teetering. Changkyun laughed and it was short and breathy. Hyungwon laughed a little too and that made Changkyun’s smile last a little longer than it should’ve. 

‘Welp,’ Minhyuk’s chipper voice broke through, ‘I’m gonna leave you kids to it. Oh and by the way, Changkyun; me and Wonho both have laptops he could borrow. Just thought I’d put that out into the world.’ He giggled as he walked away from them, his chuckles only getting more obnoxious when Hyungwon started spluttering protests. 

His door closed and Hyungwon quietened. He bounced the tip of his pen off his front teeth and dropped his gaze back down to his page. The tips of his ears were flushed and there was an adamance in the way he refused to look anywhere but the papers spread around him. His nails were painted gold today and his fingers were covered in a variety of different sized gold rings. He was wearing a loose white shirt with a scandalous amount of buttons undone and a skinny gold chain glinted in the open space of his chest, bouncing off his tan skin. Yeah, the sky was bright, but Hyungwon was golden and beautiful and _blinding_. 

‘I want to see you in a beret,’ Changkyun said into the quiet and a shock of something thick and wanting shot through him at the ease in which that wide smile slipped back on Hyungwon’s face.

‘Excuse me?’

‘You’d suit one.’

‘I have beret’s. I _do_ suit them.’ He still didn’t make eye contact, but he’d also yet to press the pen to his paper.

‘I knew you would.’

Satisfied, Changkyun pulled his laptop open and typed his password in. When Hyungwon sneaked a glance at him, Changkyun pointed questioningly at his screen.

‘Darling, we both know I don’t need it.’

‘You don’t even want to keep up pretences?’ Changkyun pouted.

‘Do you want me to?’

‘I mean, I don’t really know what… Um…’ Changkyun faltered. Hyungwon sat up straighter and put his pen down.

‘I feel like I owe you an apology,’ he said, shushing Changkyun when he went to protest. ‘I’m not good at all of this.’

‘You said that the other day.’ 

‘I said it because it’s true, darling. I don’t date. I don’t text. Hell, I barely socialise at all,’ Hyungwon said.

‘Well then, what is this,’ Changkyun gestured between them, ‘to you?’

‘A date? I don’t know. I don’t know how to do this.’

‘You know that’s chill with me though, right? Like I’m totally into you, clearly, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I can leave if you want me to.’

Hyungwon eyes startled wide and he made as if to reach across the table before collecting himself.

‘I don’t want you to leave,’ he said.

‘Then I won’t.’ Changkyun shrugged like it was the simplest matter in the world.

‘Do you want me to stop forcing you to pretend to do homework? We could watch a film or something?’

‘Oh my _God_ yes.’ He went to swipe the papers off the table in a dramatic fashion and then remembered they weren’t his.

‘Okay, yeah okay. Let’s watch something. Go sit on the couch, I’ll just clear this stuff away and I’ll be right there,’ Hyungwon said as he stood up. He pointed vaguely behind him at the third-hand looking black leather sofa and smiled at the way Changkyun stumbled to his feet to comply.

Changkyun plodded to the sofa like a toddler learning to walk, stumbling and bashing into the corners of furniture in the process. The leather creaked when he flopped against it. He pulled the cushion from next to him and hugged it to his chest. 

‘The remote should be on the couch there somewhere,’ Hyungwon called over to him. ‘There’s a stack of DVD’s in that drawer under the TV or we have Netflix. It’s up to you what you’d rather.’

‘I’ll find us something, Hyungwonnie,’ Changkyun said, dropping to his knees and crawling to the DVD drawer.

Hyungwon’s groan carried from where he still was by the table and he said ‘Are you still on that?’

‘Yup.’ A strong, plosive ‘p.’

The DVD selection was filled with stuff Changkyun wouldn’t usually watch, all action thrillers and superheroes and animated family films. It was cute, he’d expected Hyungwon’s DVD selection to be more serious. It implied a lightness that Changkyun was yet to fully see from him.

He heard the creak of Hyungwon sitting on the sofa just as he picked up _Over The Hedge._

‘You wanna watch this?’ He asked, whipping his head around. Hyungwon had sat in the middle of the couch, leaving the space next to the arm for Changkyun. He was sitting with his legs spread wide, skinny knees and pretty, smooth thighs peeking out through the sizeable rips in his dark jeans. In between the generous spread of his thighs was a bowl of popcorn. He smiled and nodded when he saw the DVD selection and that thick want spurred again in Changkyun’s belly. Hyungwon towered over him and it was that addictive feeling of smallness again. How the worn-out sofa looked like a throne from the possessive way Hyungwon was slouched on it. Changkyun swallowed before putting the disk in the slot and slinking his way back over to the couch.

He could feel the warmth radiating off Hyungwon’s body. The happy Dreamworks music felt too loud in the room, too light in an atmosphere that was tense with something Changkyun wasn’t quite sure how to name. They weren’t touching, there wasn’t the nice pressure of an arm along his, but it was only a feather of distance. Close enough that Changkyun was sitting stiff and tense in an effort not to be the first to make contact. The smell of popcorn was clogging up his nose, all sweet and cloying.

‘You want any?’ Hyungwon asked, and tilted the bowl in Changkyun’s direction. 

‘Thanks.’ He took a handful and it was greasy with butter in his palm. ‘I didn’t take you for a kids film enthusiast,’ he said through a mouthful.

‘How many times do I have to say we don’t know anything about each other, Changkyun?’ Hyungwon replied, but he scooted closer. Their arms touched and he stayed that way. 

‘I mean I know your course, and your name, and your favourite colour, and where you live, and that you don’t like to be called pretty, and that you use berry lip balm. Those are some good foundations there, Hyungwonnie.’ He scooped more popcorn out of the bowl between Hyungwon’s legs and the crunch of it was loud even with the DVD playing.

‘I suppose so.’

There was a short pause.

‘Can I ask you a question?’ Changkyun hesitated.

Hyungwon huffed before saying, ’Yeah, what?’

‘Well, like… Okay I don’t know how to phrase this.’ Changkyun swallowed an unpopped kernel he had been sucking the flavouring off before carrying on. ‘It’s just. Do you even like me? You seem super worried about this whole thing. About not knowing much about me, I guess. I don’t want to make you anxious.’

‘You say that like it’s the craziest thing in the world, darling. I like you to the extent someone can like someone they’ve barely hung out with.’ His voice sounded a lot more confident than the jiggle in his leg presented him to be. Changkyun laid a steadying hand on his knee and he stopped.

‘Oh,’ Changkyun said, his voice short and warped. 

‘I’m bad at feelings. That sounded mean, didn’t it?’

‘Just a tad, yeah.’

‘Changkyun,’ Hyungwon hit pause on the DVD and put the popcorn on the floor before he spoke. He scooted to face Changkyun and it practically mirrored their posture from the park bench, knees knocking together and head tilted to make neat eye contact. ‘I like you enough to invite you here even though I barely know you. Whatever this is, it’s good, this is more than I like most people. I’m not good at social stuff and the last time I dated someone I was still “straight” so… I don’t know where that was going but I just… like you. Okay?’

Changkyun’s smile was wide enough to blemish his face with those pretty, deep dimples. He looped his fingers with Hyungwon’s on the space where their knees touched.

‘Okay. I’m sorry.’

‘Me too. Did I mention that you’re also stupidly cute? Because it’s true.’

‘See here we are back at “cute.” I wanna be “hot” or something.’ Changkyun said, he jabbed at Hyungwon’s knee with each word to emphasise his point before rehooking their fingers once he realised how cold his hand felt without Hyungwon’s in it.

‘Well what about me, darling? You haven’t complimented me once this whole time,’ Hyungwon said through a smile and _God_ was it pretty. His lips stretched so nicely

‘But I straight up called you beautiful last time and I feel like that’s worth more in compliments.’

Hyungwon’s laugh was a string of bells, light and melodious but also full of disjointed notes. ‘Will you not call me beautiful again?’

‘You told me off last time,’ Changkyun replied slowly. Their eyes made contact again and he rubbed his thumb over the soft skin on the side of Hyungwon’s hand. Hyungwon’s smile faltered when he did but his grip on Changkyun’s fingers got a little tighter.

‘Try it again?’

A small pause.

‘You’re beautiful, Hyungwon. It’s honestly ridiculous how beautiful you are.’

The smile that swept over Hyungwon’s face was accompanied by a sharp outtake of held breath. He scooted forward in his seat, legs parting Changkyun’s to slot in between as they had done before. Just a little, but Changkyun noticed.

‘Thank you,’ he said to their joined hands.

‘How much does it bother you that we don’t know much about each other?’

‘A bit. Not as much as it probably seems like it bothers me. But it’s just that whole “you could turn out to be a huge racist” worry, you know? You seem so nice and cute and weird. I don’t want it to be ruined. I have a nice illusion of you right now.’

‘Okay well I feel like I have to make it perfectly clear that I’m not a racist. Or any other type of “ist” for that matter. Is it not nice to have getting to know each other as a surprise though? Aren’t you excited to find out what my favourite flavour of ice cream is or whatever? I think it’s nice. I like getting to know you, Hyungwonnie. Especially when you let me,’ he paused, flushed a little. ‘When you let me touch you like this.’ He squeezed Hyungwon’s hands and jostled their locked legs.

Hyungwon’s laugh was nervous and small, he worried his bottom lip between his teeth before pushing forward again, knees pressed against thighs.

‘I like you touching me too, darling,’ he said, voice quiet and eyes aimed anywhere but Changkyun. ‘Tell me what your favourite flavour of ice cream is.’

‘Raspberry ripple. I like berry flavours. I like the taste of your lip gloss.’

‘It’s called summer fruits,’ Hyungwon mumbled. He smiled and hesitated before raising his eyes back to meet Changkyun’s and Changkyun swore he could feel the pressure of that gaze on his skin, slick like tear tracks.

‘I like it,’ he said.

‘I’m wearing it now… Do you want some?’ Hyungwon asked. Changkyun nodded. Expected Hyungwon to reach a hand into his pocket and pull the tube out. Instead Hyungwon surged forwards, and it was clumsy but he connected their lips. Pressed slow, chaste kisses neatly along the seam of Changkyun’s mouth that Changkyun reciprocated eagerly. It was as though he was trying to make sure he didn’t miss a space. As though he was trying to colour between strictly defined lines; methodical and precise and pleasing. His breath shuddered against the press of their mouths in between each slow kiss.

When Changkyun felt him start to pull away, he followed, resting his weight slightly on Hyungwon’s knees and catching those soft, plush lips again.   
They were only small kisses. Nothing more than pecks, but it felt overwhelming. The skin of their lips was slick and sticking from the film of pretty, pink chapstick. Hyungwon unhooked his hands from Changkyun’s and Changkyun whined against him. He laughed one short breath before cupping Changkyun’s cheeks between long, decorated fingers. The coldness of his gold rings felt like fire on Changkyun’s skin.

It didn’t deepen. Their kisses remained long and slow and simple. Changkyun was the one to pull back, resting his forehead against Hyungwon’s. When he opened his eyes, Hyungwon was looking at him and smiling.

‘My favourite ice cream flavour is butterscotch, by the way,’ he said, tapping his fingers on the sides of Changkyun’s cheeks before drawing his dainty, shaped nails down his skin. Down his jawline and neck to end in the centre of his chest. Changkyun’s breath hitched before Hyungwon giggled, small and unexpectedly cute, and pushed lightly against him so he fell back against the couch. And then they were sitting like strangers again. Distanced and untouching. Changkyun laughed, licked his lips. They tasted like he remembered, that nice sugary sweetness.

Hyungwon hit play on the DVD again and it was surreal how easily he slipped back into watching it. Changkyun’s skin was a bed of needles, every shift Hyungwon made next to him pricked a new pin in him. He didn’t bother with pretending he was paying attention to the film, too preoccupied by how hot the places Hyungwon’s fingers had dragged over felt. Hyungwon seemed perfectly content though, his eyes focussed on the screen in from them. The only tell being the slight pinkness in his cheeks and on the tip of his nose. The soft flush against his pretty, honey skin made him look sweet and innocent.

Hyungwon laughed at something in the film and fell against Changkyun’s shoulder, curled up against him, chin resting the hollow of his collarbone as his laughter fell against Changkyun’s cheek.

‘You should touch me more,’ he said softly when his laughter died down. Words right against the shell of Changkyun’s ear and fingers tapping odd rhythms on his shoulder.

And Changkyun felt as though he had caught on fire with how hot those words felt on his skin, the want thick like lava in the pit of stomach. 

‘Are you sure?’ he asked.

Hyungwon nodded and he didn’t hesitate. Only had to turn a fraction to connect their lips, hand coming up to hold Hyungwon’s neck as he did. 

He kissed Hyungwon slowly, his fingers light as they traced over that exposed, tan skin. It was astounding how soft Hyungwon’s lips were, how nicely the cushion of them felt pressed between his own. He sucked his bottom lip, bit lightly at the delicate skin there, and Hyungwon shuddered against him, hands fisting in Changkyun’s stained black jumper to draw him closer. He pulled until Changkyun was leaning over him and Hyungwon had to tilt his head up to keep them connected. Changkyun stumbled to keep up with the pull Hyungwon had on him and ended up bashing their mouths together.

‘Sorry,’ he giggled.

‘Shut up, darling,’ Hyungwon replied and pulled Changkyun back to him.

Their lips reconnected with a slow, wet sound, with Changkyun draped over Hyungwon like a raggedy old blanket. It wasn’t a dainty thing. There was no grace in the way Hyungwon pulled Changkyun’s hand to knot in his long, platinum hair. Or how he gasped when Chankgyun’s grip tightened there. The slide of Hyungwon’s tongue was slow and relaxed as though he had all the time in the world but the grasp he had on Changkyun’s jumper had yet to unclench.

It felt so good, Changkyun’s mind was a mess of want and pleasure. He wanted to feel the smoothness of Hyungwon’s chest so badly but every time he went to untangle his hand from Hyungwon’s hair he groaned and leaned into the touch to keep him there. The arm he was propping himself up with was aching and threatening to buckle but he didn’t care. He kissed down to the sharp line of Hyungwon’s jaw and sucked at the skin there.

‘Your flatmates are still here,’ he chuckled against Hyungwon’s skin. A happy sounding song had just started playing on the film and it sounded funny and ill-fitting in the atmosphere of the room. He snorted an ugly sounding laugh against Hyungwon’s neck and the intake smelled like cloves so he pressed a kiss there. ‘This is silly,’ he giggled.

‘I’ve walked in on Minkhyuk doing a lot worse than this,’ Hyungwon replied, his voice light and dismissive but with a distinct breathiness. He loosened his grip on the material at Changkyun’s chest to fiddle with a loose string dangling from its bottom hem.

Changkyun laughed and sat back on his legs. Hyungwon looked dishevelled, his hair was sticking up like it had before and there was a red blotch where Changkyun had marked the skin of his jaw. 

‘You’re so weird,’ Changkyun said, resting his hands on Hyungwon’s knees. And he knew the amount of affection he felt was too much too quick, but he ignored that nagging worry to watch the way Hyungwon wrapped the loose black thread of his jumper around his finger only to let it unfurl. He ignored it because Hyungwon was trying to keep physical contact with him and that felt so _nice_.

‘Weird how?’ Hyungwon asked, smiling up to the ceiling.

‘You’re just, I don’t know you’re just super weird. I like it.’

Hyungwon laughed, ‘Coming from anyone else I would be offended.’

‘It’s a compliment.’

‘I know that now.’ Hyungwon stopped playing with the loose thread of Changkyun’s jumper to graze over the exposed skin above his trouser line and Changkyun’s stomach twitched. Hyungwon’s finger left a wake of goosebumps where they drew along Changkyun’s skin and his eyes followed the bloom of them.

‘I do like you, Hyungwonnie.’

‘I like you too. It’s stupid but here I am liking you.’

Changkyun pulled away from Hyungwon’s touch just to try and calm down the erratic thump of his heart in his chest and Hyungwon pouted at him, bottom lip fat and glistening.

‘You should put on a beret for me, you said you have one, right?’

Hyungwon laughed and it was a squawk of a noise, his head tilted back into the arm rest and hands slapping on Changkyun’s thighs.

‘What?’ Changkyun whined.

‘You just say the strangest things,’ he stuttered out.

‘You would look good in a beret, where’s the lie?’

‘Oh, darling, there’s no lie. I look great in a beret, it’s just so random is all.’ He tilted forward to make eye contact with Changkyun again, ‘And you have the nerve to call me weird.’

‘We can be weird together,’ Changkyun said. Grinned when Hyungwon’s grip on his legs squeezed tight.

‘Come on.’ Hyungwon suddenly shifted. He stood up, grabbing Changkyun as he went and forcing him to stand too. Changkyun stumbled and almost fell into the coffee table but Hyungwon caught his arms. 

‘Where are we going?’

‘I’m going to put on a beret for you and you’re going to compliment me on how good it looks, okay?’ 

Changkyun was nodding eagerly before Hyungwon had even finished the sentence. His heart was racing so hard he could feel the beat of it in the soles of his feet as Hyungwon pulled him away from the sofa and to his room. _Over the Hedge_ was still playing on the TV, the popcorn sitting long-forgotten on the floor and pillows haphazard, but Hyungwon didn’t stop to clean up the mess and the way it seemed like Hyungwon wanted him too made Changkyun feel like custard. 

When they got to Hyungwon’s room he shut the door and twirled Changkyun so he was facing it.

‘No peeking,’ he said over Changkyun’s astonished splutters.

It didn’t take long. Changkyun couldn’t have been staring at that door for longer than a minute but the rustling of Hyungwon behind him made it feel like hours. He itched to look at him. It was like every moment in his presence without looking at him was a moment wasted and Changkyun had to bite his tongue to keep from whinging for him to go faster.

The air was misted with a nice, earthy smell. Like tea tree or eucalyptus, with that typical hint of cloves and Changkyun realised that Hyungwon must have sprayed his perfume. When Hyungwon clutched him by the shoulders and urged him to turn around, the smell was overwhelming. Clung to the inside of his nostrils in the most suffocating way and Changkyun thought he might never have smelled anything better.

‘Now,’ Hyungwon said. ‘Tell me I look pretty.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter. I feel like the tone of it is completely different to the first one and it's annoying me but it's been bugging me for like a month and there's only so much tweaking I can do to it before I'm just going around in circles so this is what I'm going with.
> 
> Also! I'd originally planned for this to just be a two/three chapter thing but I feel like, if people were keen, it has a lot of potential to become something bigger so if that's something anyone is interested in please let me know! <3
> 
> Also also, I know there's been the whole big thing of Hyungwon not liking being called pretty and then he asked Changkyun to call him pretty at the end. It was on purpose I'm not just being super forgetful.
> 
> Okey sweet, thank you for reading see you in the next chapter hopefully maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole story is based around the phrase 'I Can Talk with Flowers,' which I saw on the Newton M/V. Changkyun was wearing that shirt that had loads of writing all over it and one of the things it said was 'I Can Talk With Flowers' and I was immediately obsessed.
> 
> I hope you're liking it so far. If not, blame Changkyun's shirt for putting the idea in my head.


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